


steps to falling in love

by canonlytrans



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Temporary Character Death, Trans Magnus Burnsides, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-26 13:16:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canonlytrans/pseuds/canonlytrans
Summary: Magnus falls in love. Taako's in denial.(Or, two idiots face their feelings.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah hi i'm gay and i love the adventure zone, so i wrote this, congrats to me. it's a series of interconnecting taagnus one-shots with prompts picked at random from this list (https://canonlytrans.tumblr.com/post/176783456267/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you). and yes that's a self-plug to my tumblr.

They're sitting in the cold, beneath the soft papery moon, their backs to the Starblaster, faces to the ocean. It's dark, it's late, they're both tipsy on sugar sweet cherry wine and laughter. And that's how it begins - Magnus is laughing so hard it hurts, his hands clenching the grass, and he feels almost like a little kid, basking in the moonlight and staring at the stars.

“Gods, Lup _really_ did that?”

“Mhm,” Taako says, illuminated by the moonlight in a way that makes a halo around his figure - Magnus isn't stupid, he knows Taako’s attractive, long legs and soft skin and hair like a god of some sort. He even smells nice. But Magnus doesn't have _feelings_ \- not for him, no, they've spent four and a half years knowing each other, too much and too little time. “Decked him right in the face - y’shoulda seen his _expression_ , Maggie.”

Magnus is twenty, twenty four if you count the years spent aboard this damn ship, being chased by the Hunger (a recent name, Lucretia came up with it.) He might not’ve even been born when Lup punched a guy for mistaking her brother for a woman and repeatedly insisting Taako _was_ such. “Yeah? ...when was this?”

“Early days, when we first joined the IPRE. ‘course, that's Lup for ya, m’dude - thinks first, asks permission later. Lup rushes in, y’know?” And Taako _laughs_ at that, sort of snorting at the end, doubling back. He's tipsy. Maybe outright drunk. Maybe Magnus is, too, with how he can't take his eyes off him. Or maybe Magnus has never been more sober and this is just how it is on this bitch of an earth.

Then Taako's eyes meet his and a blush creeps up on Magnus’ cheeks, and he swallows (the look in Taako’s eyes is cutting him like a storm, and it's not something he can accept, but gods if he hasn't been almost four years without _touching_ someone. Yeah he's craving something, anything, _definitely_ more than jacking off in his room.) But that _look_ dissipates and Taako’s _just_ laughing, and Magnus is aching, shifting his body away from his. And then… Taako lets out a small groan, shaking, and it hits him that he's probably freezing, wearing a fucking short-sleeved crop top with his name emblazoned on it in glitter or rhinestones or something shitty and cheap. Damn it, he has the stupidest clothes, but they're so _Taako_ that Magnus can't imagine him without them.

So Magnus does the chivalrous, supposed-to-do thing and takes his jacket off, even if it's cold and Magnus isn't actually wearing a shirt - “Here. Take my jacket. It's cold.”

“No _shit_ , Sherlock,” says Taako with a sigh, his ears twitching, but he takes the jacket without commenting and slides his arms into the sleeves, a slight flush on his cheeks. It's huge on him, practically dwarfing the elf, but…

“It looks good on you,” Magnus says, with all the confidence of a hopeless drunk twenty year old. Hell, it surprises him to hear it.

“Magnus, _everything_ looks good on me.” says Taako, cocking an eyebrow - even in the dark he can see that, of course he can, his eyes have adjusted. Of course the compliment’s going straight to his head.

Magnus grabs the bottle of wine off the ground and takes another swig, pressing his lips together so he doesn't say anything else shitty and stupid, egged on by the alcohol in his system. Not that, right now, he doesn't want Taako on his bed wearing nothing _but_ that jacket - shit, he's horny _and_ drunk. Never a good sign.

It's only cycle four, damn if he'll make it to the next without some actual release.

“Hand that bad boy over, Mags,” says Taako, holding out one hand, wiggling his fingers. “You gotta share.” His eyes are all half-lidded, and Magnus’s never noticed how damn long his lashes are, but that's a twitch in the gut.

Magnus laughs through the alcohol burning his throat, and tosses the bottle to Taako, who barely catches it, and pops the top off and drinks straight out the bottle, wiping his mouth when he's finished. “That stuff’s _ridiculously_ sweet.”

“No, no, this is the _good_ shit, my man. The _good_ shit. This is fantasy billionaire wine.”

If you say so, Magnus thinks, watching Taako set down the bottle and look out at the sea below, the water absorbing the colors of the sunset and making it a light pink-yellow shade (it's a strange cycle.) He can taste salt on the tip of his tongue, feel the still ice breeze on his skin… it's actually not bad - kinda nice, familiar. Like winter back where he grew up, that ravenous hunger for warmth in the air. It's just a bonus that Taako's watching the water crash against the cliffs below, his expression blank for the first time (as far as he's seen.)

“It's nice out here,” says Magnus, just to break the silence. It's not a question, he's not aiming for it to be one. “What month do you think it is?”

“How should I know? I don't keep track.”

Probably November, he thinks. It feels like November. They've been here three months, he's sure of that, and every cycle seems to begin where the first started, mid August, the sweltering heat the backdrop to the Hunger coming and destroying _everything_. At least he thinks it destroyed everything.

It's silent again, then… Taako moves a bit closer, handing Magnus the bottle. It's warm, maybe Taako wasted a spell slot to warm up the wine. He takes a sip and lets the alcohol sear his mouth in just the right way. “Well, this was fun.” says Taako, once again sighing, before getting to his feet, dusting grass off his knees. He gives this almost-smile, the kind that makes Magnus crave something he definitely can't have, and sorta rolls his shoulders beneath the red jacket hanging off him. “ _I'm_ goin’ back to the ship before my ass gets frozen.”

Taako doesn't even bother giving him back the jacket. Magnus finds he doesn't care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako's sick. Magnus tries to help.

This _isn't_ the first cycle where someone's gotten sick. Cycle three was the first, and they're on six now - and gods, Taako _hates_ this. He could, hypothetically, be out with Lup and Barry and Lucretia, looking for the Light of Creation - instead, he's stuck aboard the Starblaster, standing, dazed, in the kitchen, a wooden spoon in one hand. Sometimes he just blanks out, that's all, fucking swell or whatever (this damn sickness is gonna be the death of him, at least this cycle, he's sure.)

At least the plane’s nice, all grassy hills and sweet-tasting water. The people here have _wings_ , which is weird, but Taako's not gonna judge ‘em just for existing like that. They've been here half a year (half a cycle? The terms don't seem to apply, he's never sure.)

It's kinda cold, but he's wearing a jacket that's too big for him (he's not sure where or how he got it, since everyone's clothes are accounted for.) If he _wasn't_ wearing ratty pajamas, he'd be just fine. But he's _Taako_ , and Taako looks good in just about everything, for fuck’s sake. Nobody can tell him otherwise. He'd look good in a plastic bag.

There's a noise behind him, no warning signs prior, and he drops the spoon - almost drops whatever it is he's mixing up, too. He's got a good memory but right now, he's just completely out of it. Cinnamon rolls, maybe? Who knows.

It's Magnus, who looks almost worried. It's a familiar expression, one he's seen on Lup in recent days. “Taako?”

“Yeah, my man?” He leans over to get the spoon off the ground and a wave of nausea hits him, coupled with the dizziness from before. He staggers.

Magnus catches him, ridiculously quickly, like he was just waiting for Taako to fall.

“It's the middle of the night,” says Magnus.

“Oh, really? Coulda fooled me, Mango.” Taako pulls away, possibly a second and a half too late (Magnus’ arms are nice, he's not gonna deny that - he's gay, after all!) “Thought you went with the others.”

“Stayed behind,” says Magnus, as if that's all there is. “What are you cooking?”

Taako looks at the ingredients he's pulled out, and sorta sniffs the air to check - chopped up apples, cinnamon, almond flour… “Muffins.”

“...why?”

“ _Oh_ , I don't fuckin’ _know_ , maybe ‘cause I feel like shit and m’tired of sleepin’ all day?”

Magnus immediately looks like he regrets asking. “Sorry.”

“God, it's cold in here,” Taako mumbles, before sneezing into the jacket sleeve. Aside from that, the jacket actually smells nice, kinda sharp and woody and bitter but… good, too. Like… Magnus, actually. Huh. “Could y’turn up the heat?”

“Taako, it's summer.”

“So? It's cold as shit, m’dude, could you turn it up?”

Magnus takes a step forward and before Taako even realizes, has his lips pressed to Taako's forehead. And… it's nice, comforting, reminds him of his aunt, and days spent cooking with her. Then Magnus pulls back, frowning. “You're warm. _Really_ warm. You might have a fever.” And he sounds all gentle and soft, like he's worried about hurting Taako's feelings or something. He finds he doesn't mind at all, except he should, because it feels so damn patronizing.

“No way. Taako's good! Taako's great, Mags, maybe _you_ got a fever.” It's probably shitty of him to get all defensive like this, stepping away from Magnus and crossing his arms over his chest. “I'd _know_ if I had a fever. Where's Merle? Have him check my temperature.”

“Merle’s with the others, Taako.”

Right. He'd forgotten that.

He turns to go back to his cooking, finish the damn muffins, but his feet aren't so steady and he feels about to collapse. _Don't focus on that_ , he thinks, trying to ignore the elephant in the room (i.e., Magnus just standing there, being difficult. As always.)

“If you're just gonna stand around, would ya mind helping?” he grumbles, before he even realizes he's said it aloud. But, oddly, Magnus falls into helping, grabbing the muffin tins instead of arguing. They work in quiet unison for a few minutes before a stab of pain hits Taako right in the head, and _shit_ , he stumbles backwards and directly into Magnus’ chest.

Magnus’ arms are fucking huge, it's ridiculous, but Taako can't help but stare at his biceps and thick forearms. And his hands, his _fingers_ \- okay, he's looked a few seconds too long.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asks, all concerned, turning Taako to face him, hands on his shoulders. “Do you need to go lay down?”

“Just tired,” Taako replies, pulling away.

“You should rest.”

“M’ _fine_ , Magnus.” Really, he's perfectly okay, for fuck’s sake - why's Magnus got to worry so damn _much_? He doesn't need coddling. He has Lup (even if Lup isn't here right now.)

Except - he's not. His vision blurs, his head stings. But why would he give Magnus the satisfaction of being right? If it was _him_ , he'd never let it go. So like hell he's giving in. No, he's gonna bake these damn muffins and it's gonna be perfectly fine, thank you very much!

Magnus just shakes his head. “I'm calling Lup.”

“Nuh-uh, nope, _not happening_ , bubele. You get my sister involved and I will blast you to smithereens, so help me.”

“Taako, you're burning up.”

“ _Maaaaybe_ elves have higher body temperatures, you ever think of _that_?”

Magnus groans and makes his way around the counter, clearly making a statement - _I'm not catching you if you fall_ , and Taako hears it clear as day. Not that he cares, he's got more pressing matters, like that his throat is suddenly drier than the desert and his head still hurts. Maybe Magnus _is_ right, Taako needs some R and R, but no way is he giving in right now. But damn if a face mask and some lotion doesn't sound good, or a nice bath… and, okay, he could definitely use a change of clothes and maybe some meditation.

Fine, maybe he does need to sit down and rest more than he's willing to admit, but he's _Taako_ , for crying out loud. Taako doesn't just give up!

He sets a timer on the oven and puts the muffin tin in, and maybe he feels woozy, but he's not gonna admit that. And then -

He straight up collapses, and his vision goes blank.

 

When he refocuses, he's lying on his bed, buried beneath his blankets and a few he doesn't recognize. It's definitely his room, not that he sleeps in there much (elves don't need sleep, it's more of a recreational thing, and when he does it's in Lup’s room.) But the clothes on the floor, the few books of magic he brought on this trip… yup, Taako's room. Most definitely.

His head hurts worse than ever, like a bad hangover coming to fruition, and his throat is practically on fire, but he knows it's just the sickness. There's a mug on his nightstand, and he eagerly takes a sip, then spits it back out - it's tea, brewed too weak, and no sugar or milk at all. He pushes the covers off, finds it's still rather cold, and then, he's looking for something to change into, maybe a nicer shirt or something, when it hits him.

“ _The muffins_!”

He races to the kitchen, only to find it completely clean and cleared, save for the platter of muffins sitting on the counter. And light's streaming in through the porthole, enough to make Taako stifle a yawn.

“I cleaned up. Put away the dishes. Are you feeling any better?” It's Magnus, of course it is, and Taako's actually happy to hear his voice. He's standing in the archway to the lounge/living room, holding a mostly empty mug of what smells like coffee. It makes Taako's mouth water.

“How - how long was I out?”

“About eight hours.”

Huh, he thinks. “What happened, my dude? Did I just pass out or something? I got no memory of what happened.”

Magnus makes this face that Taako knows he should recognize, but he's too damn tired. “I, uh, had to carry you to your room. Took the liberty of making you some tea, figured you'd want something to drink when you woke up.”

“Don't you _dare_ tell anyone about this.” He pauses. “The tea sucked. Y’need to work on your tea-steeping habits.”

“You're welcome,” Magnus says, voice tinged with laughter.

The _thanks_ goes unsaid but he _hopes_ Magnus hears it, because there's no way he's gonna say it out loud, not after giving Magnus the satisfaction of being right about him needing some rest. Still does, probably. He's sweaty and tired, probably stinks like a sewer. But, hey. He's already up. Might as well do something in return. 

“You need a refill on that? It's two sugars, right?” He's already at the coffee maker, and he glances over his shoulder to see Magnus look almost thankful.

“Actually,” says Magnus, “that’d be great.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone dies. Magnus tries to help (again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new note/disclaimer: i don’t own the adventure zone. wish i did. if i did, garfield the deals warlock would come back in a live show.

Magnus remembers when he first met the two of them, back at the Institute - early spring, snow drizzling into the quad, and he was just walking back to his room when he saw them for the first time. Two of the most beautiful elves, faces flush, snow sprinkled in their hair. Almost complete echoes of each other, from their faces to their laughter, which carried through the wind. One had longer hair and wore a fur-trimmed coat, the other a red IPRE jacket, complete with buttons pinned to the breast pockets. They looked ethereal, like gods or ghosts or something unearthly (but that _was_ just elves for you.)

Magnus’d been moving away, trying to ignore the snow, when - “Hey, _you_! Big guy!” And he'd turned to see the coat-wearing elf waving at him… waving him over, maybe? He wasn't quite sure, but a second gesture and he knew, yeah, this elf was trying to get him over there. So, he did what anyone would do, and walked over, shielding his face from the snow.

“See? _Told_ _ya_ he'd come over,” they said to the other, before turning back to him, adjusting their fur-trimmed gloves. “You - you're going on the Starblaster mission, right? You mind pointing us to Davenport’s office?”

“Uh,” he said.

“Koko, he doesn't know who we are, for fuck’s sake,” said the other, gritting their teeth. “I'm Lup, exploration and magic, and this is my brother, Taako.”

“‘sup, m’dude,” said Taako.

“We just got lost, y’know how it is, yeah? Big place,” said Lup.

Magnus blinked, then - “Lup, Taako, there you are!” rang a familiar voice, and Magnus glanced behind him to see Barry running over to them, holding a bag over his head. “I told you two to wait in my dorm!”

“Yeah, well, we're not good at waiting,” said Lup.

“What she said,” said Taako.

And that was probably how he'd _always_ remember them - beautiful, covered in snow, and looking at him like he had just the answers they needed. Hell, they'd _recognized_ him - most people just viewed him as security, and that was it.

He doesn't picture them like _this_ \- Taako, covered in mud, a gash over his right eye. Lup, blood seeping into her clothes, bruises on her arms and legs. They're mirrors, but broken. Both half dead.

Merle’s shouting - “Get them on the table, Magnus, _are you listening to me_?”

(He is, but he's in shock. This isn't _right_.)

He quickly lifts Taako onto the table, Merle watching, and Lup right next to him - in half-consciousness, their fingers twine together, and Magnus swallows his fear. They can't die, not now, not this _soon_. It's only cycle nine, they can't die on him (no, them) now.

“I cast -” starts Merle, grimacing, “- Mass Cure -” But then he stops, doubling over, and it barely registers in Magnus that he's wounded, too, blood gushing out of a cut on his leg, _shit_. He can see the magic starting to form on Merle’s fingertips, but it fades, and Merle groans.

“ _Merle_ -” starts Magnus, eyes wide.

Lup’s breathing is harsh now, and her whole body arches up and her eyes go pure white as a blinding light washes over the room, spreading out from her body, surrounding them in opaque _something_ , and it feels… warm… no, _burning_. And it fades away, suddenly but slowly all at once, leaving the room cold, and Lup’s eyes closed.

Magnus can feel a difference in the air, every minor scratch and wound healed completely - and - Lup’s chest heaves one last time and goes still.

“ _What the hell_?” Merle murmurs, rushing to Lup’s side, checking her pulse. “Magnus - go get Lucretia, or Barry, or _someone_.” He seems to see Magnus’ hesitation, and grits his teeth, eyes filled with urgency. “ _Now_!”

Magnus practically charges through the ship, opening every door, checking every single room, trying to find someone, anyone who can _help_ \- and he does, there's Lucretia in her room, and maybe she can just tell he's frantic, because she grabs her staff and catches up with him. “What's going on? Magnus…?”

“No time, gotta go!” And he's tempted to heave her over his shoulder to get there faster, but there's no need.

They reach the medical bay within a minute, and Merle’s wiping blood and mud off Taako’s face, looking defeated.

“I couldn't save her.”

He gestures solemnly at Lup, and the air feels wrong, colder than before. Lucretia’s eyes widen and she grabs Lup’s wrist, checking, and then lets out a small sob. “She's gone.”

“What about Taako?” Magnus asks, frantically glancing over to the other elf.

“Healed, but he's completely out of it.” Merle looks over at Lucretia. “Lup… blew up, or _something_ , I dunno. Healed all of us. She's not a cleric, so I don't…”

“I… it might've been a… last resort spell. Like Mycontil’s Last Resort, but… modified,” says Lucretia softly. “ _Whatever_ it was, she drained her own life force to heal everyone in the room.” She wipes the tears off her cheeks, giving Magnus a look. “I'll go tell Barry. Be… careful with Taako.”

“He's not gonna take it well,” Magnus replies, glancing back over at Taako and Lup’s intertwined fingers.

He sits there, waiting for Taako to wake up, even though it's stupid, but it's his fault this happened in the first place... if he'd done his job right, this _never_ would've happened. If he had just kept an eye on the twins, if he'd seen the mudmen coming… _his fault_ ,echoes the voice in his head. His fault he hadn't realized that they were far more powerful and far more deadly on this plane than the average mudman. His fault Lup is dead. Taako's gonna hate him for letting her die, even if it's not permanent, even _if_ she'll come back at the next cycle.

Taako drifts in and out of consciousness, occasionally murmuring something Magnus can't make out. Elvish, maybe.

He stays like that for hours - Merle goes to rest, muttering something about healing. Lucretia brings him a sandwich at some point, and he barely touches it. She sits with him, concern etched across her face, and doesn't speak for a while.

“Magnus, you _couldn't_ have known.”

“I could've protected them,” he mutters.

Lucretia puts her hand on his shoulder, and looks him in the eyes, and says with more force than he's ever heard, “You can't dwell in the past.’

“I know.” But still, he _could've_ saved Lup.

Lucretia doesn't say anything else after that. She just nods at him and gets up to go elsewhere, leaving Magnus to sit in silence and watch Taako's chest move as he breathes.

He eventually wakes up, fully, and Magnus watches him survey the room before his eyes land on Magnus.

“Where's Lup?”

“Taako,” he begins, getting to his feet.

“No, no, no, don't you start - where is she?” Taako moves off the table, eyes narrowed. “Magnus, _where is she_?”

“She… she's gone.”

“No.”

Taako’s hands shake at his sides, clenched into fists, and he glares at Magnus, and - “Where is she? Where's my sister?”

“Taako,” and he's closer to Taako, trying to put a hand on his shoulder, trying to bring comfort. “She… she died.”

“You're _sick_. This is sick. Don't joke like that. Is - she's in the kitchen, isn't she? Or, no, where's Barry, she's -”

And he stops, as realization floods his face, and then he lunges at Magnus, crying and slamming his fists into Magnus’ chest and screaming in Elvish, and Magnus just _lets_ him, because God, he deserves it, doesn't he? And Taako all but collapses and Magnus just holds him, keeps him steady, and Taako screams into his shirt - it's wet with tears and snot and probably mud, too.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers, and Taako cries.

 

He's half asleep when the door opens, letting light flood his room. The shape in the door is unmistakably Taako - the hair, the ears. He hasn't seen him in a while - nobody, not even Barry, is allowed in his room. He hasn't left his room since Lup died, and Magnus can't blame him. Taako lost his twin sister, and all Magnus lost was a teammate, a very good friend. But, illuminated with the light as a backdrop, Taako actually looks fine for once.

Magnus sits up, stifling a yawn. “What's wrong?”

“I'm sleeping in here,” Taako says, and closes the door behind him. “Can't sleep without Lup. _Nobody_ hears ‘bout this, _capiche_?”

“I thought elves didn't need sleep.”

“ _This_ elf does. Scoot over.”

Magnus holds back an objection, but after what he's done? Letting Lup _die_? Even if it was days ago, almost a week, it’s still _fresh_. He can humour this, so he obliges and moves as Taako climbs into bed with him. They barely touch, even though the bed’s pretty small (at least for Magnus, who, admittedly, is a bit bulky.)

“Sweet dreams,” says Magnus.

“Shut up,” says Taako.

Magnus lays there in silence, staring up at the darkness above them, wondering if he usually sleeps in Lup’s room - they're twins, he supposes, maybe that's just a Taako-and-Lup thing. He's never seen them sleep, but he's also never seen them separate for longer than a few hours, except in what he's dubbed the mushroom plane.

Taako could just meditate, or, hell, go without sleep completely. But instead he's in here. On Magnus’ _bed_. It's weird, sure, but the very faint feeling of skin next to his is enough to kindle something in him, something he definitely wants to ignore - he's gone nine, ten years without actually _being_ with someone. Sure, at this point he's almost hooked up with a local, but it just feels _wrong_.

So he turns to his side and faces the wall, trying to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Then - “Mango? Dunno if you're up, my dude, but if you are… s’not your fault she's gone, okay? Lucy told me what she did. My fucking sister sacrificed herself to make sure I didn't die this cycle - guess that means something, yeah? It's not your fault. I'm still pissed at you, but… jeezy creezy, homie, _are you asleep_? M’tryna have a moment with you.”

Magnus feels Taako's hand on his arm.

“It _is_ my fault,” he says, his voice probably muffled by the wall and the pillow. So he rolls over. “I should've seen it coming.”

“And I shoulda cast magic missile quicker,” says Taako, so close he can feel his breath. It smells like alcohol. “Fuck, I coulda done a lot, Mags, but I didn't. Figured it'd be easy-peasy, but it wasn't, not much we can do ‘bout that.” He sounds strained, and Magnus realizes Taako's crying again.

“I'm sorry,” he says again.

Taako laughs, honest to God laughter, and says, “So am I, amigo. So am I.”

“I can't imagine losing my twin sister.”

“Feels like I'm not whole.” Taako lets out a sigh, and practically buries his head in Magnus’ chest. “Can't imagine if she was gone permanently. M’just a chef. Not important like everyone else.”

“You're important, too. You're a wizard!” he objects, using his elbow to prop himself up.

Taako laughs again, and it's such a _nice_ sound, like clinking wind chimes, warm nights, iced coffee and porch swings. It's a good sound, probably one of his favorites if he's being honest. He's gotten used to hearing it. “Look, m’man, I may be a wizard, but I ain't Lup. My magic’s all transmutation shit. Good at turning stone to mud, _not_ so good at casting huge fireballs and saving the day.”

“I've _seen_ the spells you can cast,” Magnus replies, frowning. “You're good at what you do.”

“Yeah, but Lup’s _better_. She can out-cast me any day. Maggie, I know you're tryna cheer me up or some shit, but fuck that - I know my limits. Lup’s my _heart_.”

(He's heard them say that before - _you're my heart, you're my other half_ \- but only to each other, never out of context like this. Magnus wonders if he should count himself lucky.)

He rests his head back on the pillow, studying Taako now that his vision’s fully adjusted. He actually looks… almost disjointed, incomplete, this strange look on his face completely _new_. 

And Magnus - well, he doesn't like it at all.

In the quiet, it doesn't take long at all for Magnus to fall asleep, the sound of his own breath paired with Taako's in a constant, incessant noise that's easily enough to fall asleep to. When he wakes up, Taako's already gone - and Magnus is left wondering if he got any sleep at all.

 

Aside from that, Taako still makes himself scarce. Around lunchtime, Magnus checks in on him, carrying a tray of food - it's badly burnt, probably tastes like shit, but he's _trying_ to make sure their resident chef eats. He knocks on the door, but there's no response. Knocks again, still no reply. 

“Taako, dunno if you're in there but… brought you some food. I'm gonna leave it here, okay?”

No response.

He sets the tray down and heads to his room, pausing when he hears the door slowly creep open - and there's Taako, looking a mess. No makeup, his hair ratty, wearing a shirt with _Lup_ scrawled across it in rainbow sequins. He picks up the tray, meets Magnus’ eyes for a second, and then steps back into his room, closing the door.

Thirty minutes later, the tray reappears, and again at dinner when Magnus deposits another tray in front of his door.

And that night, the door opens and Taako climbs into bed with him, neither saying a word.

A week into their strange arrangement - Magnus brings him food, Taako sleeps in his room - it's starting to feel almost normal. Were it not for Lup’s death hanging overhead, maybe it _would_ be normal. And it's _intimate_ (more so than he'd expected) sleeping next to someone, leaving yourself completely vulnerable… especially since, as he discovers, Taako has night terrors.

Taako wakes him up one night because he's _screaming_ for no reason, eyes wide, hands shaking. He stops, after a few minutes, and Magnus just doesn't _know_ , doesn't understand, as Taako slams his head back on the pillow and -

“M’sorry,” he says, all drowsy, closing his eyes. “Lup knows what t’do.”

Magnus reaches over, tries to help somehow, but _he_ isn't Lup.

 _Magnus_ doesn't know what to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend a year alone, part one.
> 
> (Also, Taako's sad, and Magnus keeps trying to help and failing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of death, some minor explicit sexual thoughts, stuff that can be possibly read as self harm, and also more discussions of death.

Taako's ears droop downwards, signaling to the whole crew that today's a shit day in the Life of Taako. Feels like most days are, but he tries to ignore that in favor of attempting to be happy. It's just that… they're burying Lup.

Barry insists on it - Hell, he insists they attempt to follow the elven burial traditions. Lup wouldn't care, he thinks. Lup would just want someone to dig a hole and throw her body in it, maybe burn and scatter her ashes. Taako _knows_ what his sister would want, and this ain't it. She wouldn't even want a funeral, and if she did? She'd want to be incinerated and have her ashes thrown at Greg _fucking_ Grimaldis, or their asshole relatives, or anything but this.

But, for the rest of the crew, it's an attempt at closure. None of them have died _this_ early into a cycle (less than a month, he's been counting.) _Sure_ , she'll be back by the end, but he's stuck waiting until then. Just him, completely alone. Or, well, not _completely_ but enough that it hurts like hell.

It's midnight, the full moon light shining down on them, and the six of them are lowering Lup into the ground, surrounded by candles. Davenport’s no conjuration specialist, but he can summon and light ‘em up while Magnus and Barry put Lup’s hands over her eyes, so evil won't hide inside them and turn her to undead. Or at least that’s how the superstitions go.

“Barold,” Taako mutters when Barry steps back, wiping the sweat off his brow, “ _this_ is a moon elf tradition, Barold. We're not moon elves.”

“Oh,” says Barry, letting out a sigh. “Good, I probably seem racist.”

“N-B-D, not like s’problem.”

Merle gets up and blesses her, says a few things to Pan (“Dear Holy Pan, please protect our friend until she returns to us, don't let anything eat her body or destroy this grave.”), and with a single shift of Lucretia’s wand, the candles flicker out and the pile of dirt off to the side rises into the air and collapses over Lup.

Taako chokes back a sob. He's never buried his sister before. He hopes he never has to again.

Magnus stops him on their way back to the ship, looking nervous - Taako's thankful for his darkvision sometimes, but not always. Like right now he can see it written in Magnus’ eyes that he's sorry, he's sad, he's god-fucking-whatever. “Hey, buddy, I know it doesn't mean much, but…” He sighs, rubs the back of his neck. “You can talk to me. I'm here for you.”

Taako takes a step forward. Just one. “Jeez, m’dude, you sound sappy as fuck.”

“I'm just saying.”

And, yeah, Taako can hear the sincerity in his voice, which is a first. He didn't exactly grow up around one hundred percent-ly honest people - _everyone's_ got an agenda. Maybe Magnus does too, one Taako just hasn't picked up on yet. He's been so damn nice to him this cycle, even letting him sleep in his bedroom - Taako wouldn't let anyone but Lup get within five feet of his bed. Bringing him food while Taako sulks in his room, missing his sister. Being there, not saying anything, but being there anyways.

“Look, Mags, I dunno _what_ you expect from our… ‘arrangement’,” Taako hisses, jabbing a finger into Magnus’ chest, causing him to wince. “But _don't_ get _familiar_.”

“That's not -”

“ _Everyone's_ got an ulterior motive, Maggie.” He's not stupid. _Everyone_ does.

Magnus blinks a few times, then his shoulders slump… and he walks right past Taako and back to the ship, shoulders brushing as he passes, leaving Taako out in the dark.

Part of him is glad Lup’s not here - she'd just chastise him for being an ass to the one person who's actually being nice to him. But he _just_ saw her lifeless body lowered into the dirt.

For the first time in a week, he feels _completely_ alone, and completely lost. Stuck outside with mosquitoes and a few fireflies dancing around, pretty clear to him.

So he does what he does best - goes to cook. Heads back to the ship, hits up the kitchen, breathing in the smell of spices. Pulls out the ingredients after everyone else's in their rooms (well, he's pretty sure he saw Barry go in Lucretia’s room, but he's not gonna admit he saw it or he'll have to tell Lup), everything he usually needs. Flour, butter, vegetables, chicken (fresh off a local farm.) Grabs some eggs, milk, whatever. Starts whipping ingredients together til he's got a pie crust, then adds the chicken and peas and carrots and potatoes til he's got what should be a good pie, pops that in the oven.

He pulls his wand out, summons his cookbook, and skims the pages - so many recipes, so many possibilities. But that's what he likes best about cooking. There’s always something new, something different.

He goes with bread to start, then while it’s rising, yeast wafting into the air, he starts on tomato soup with basil and cheese, canning jars at the ready. Lup would know what to do. Woulda been better if he was the dead twin, buried beneath dirt. But he's not. He uses his free hand to wipe the tears off his face, leaving flour behind. Sure, she’ll be back, probably, unless for some reason the Hunger doesn’t come and _this_ is where they stay.

Gods, is it wrong he hopes not?

And dessert - he'd be amiss if he didn't whip up something for after, so out comes the chocolate and cream for mousse, and pumpkin for pumpkin spice scones, and lemon artichoke piccata because he can't just _leave out_ one of his favorites, can he? No, Lup would tease him for _not_ cooking that, he thinks. So he's _basically_ obligated. Sure, it’s no dessert, but that’s fine.

At some point, the sun rises, and Taako finishes cooking, the kitchen cleaned top-to-bottom with the help of a little magic - there’s some sugar sticking to his hands, so he wipes them off. It's a waste of a spell slot or two, but it's not a problem, he'll rest before he can even think about needing to use them again.

He sits down at the tiny dining table, flicking his wand to summon some magazines from his room, and starts pursuing through ‘em, summoning a few rose-colored candles to light, make the kitchen smell like vanilla and flowers. Jeez, he’s surprisingly tired - hasn’t gotten much sleep since Lup died, but that’s to be expected.

Eventually, though, his head lowers to the table and his eyes close.

What doesn't wake him is Davenport and Lucretia coming down and grabbing scones and tea, or Merle taking a slice of pot pie, or Barry staring blearily into a cup of coffee. No, he blurs that all out completely - it's the touch of a hand on his shoulder, a little too close to his bare skin, that sends a jolt through him and wakes him.

“...Taako?”

Magnus. ‘course.

He looks over his shoulder and meets his eyes, and Magnus’s just standing there in a pair of plaid pants, and he's got dark circles ‘round his eyes, his hair a bit mussed up. Looks like shit, honestly, but it's the look on his face that bothers Taako most. He looks tired. Like actually, genuinely, really tired. And he's almost swept away by the pang in his stomach. Feels it's his fault, though he shouldn't.

“‘sup?” he replies, unable to meet Magnus’s eyes.

“Did - did you stay up all night?” There's concern in his voice. It hurts.

He presses his lips together. “None of your business,” he says, but he can't pull back for whatever reason - maybe he just wants, needs, yearns for Lup, and Magnus is the closest thing to her. _Apologize, dumbass_. “M’sorry. Yeah, I was. Cookin’, y’know the drill my man, just how it is.”

“Coffee?” Magnus asks, moving away from him.

“Uh -” He swears he hears Lup say _take the damn coffee, Koko_. “- yeah, sure, whatever.”

Magnus brings him a mug and they sit in silence for a while before Magnus mutters something about training, and leaves, and Taako’s alone again.

So he migrates back to his bedroom, crashing the second he hits the pillow, but it's a restless sleep - when he does get more than a few minutes in a row, he dreams of Lup. Lup, in red robes, laughing. Lup and him, cooking. Lup, bleeding. Lup, screaming. Lup, dying. Lup, Lup, Lup - all her, all his sister, and he wakes up screaming her name, always reaching for her, never touching more than the sheets.

 

“Davenport, Barry and I are going to look for the Light. Magnus? Taako?”

It's been two days. Feels like an eternity. _Also_ feels like two minutes. But it's neither of those.

“Taako's good out here,” says Taako, yawning, barely looking up from the apples he's slicing (stress, of course, might as well do something with his hands.) Finishes that, moves on to the brown-spotted bananas sitting by his elbow. “ _Someone's_ gotta stay on this ship.”

Magnus sets down his cup of coffee. “Think I'm gonna pass. I'd like to go into town, talk to the locals. Did you ask Merle?”

“Not yet,” Lucretia replies, and grimaces. “There are reports… of… sentient plants…” Taako and Magnus gag in unison, and Lucretia laughs. “My thoughts exactly. But I'd like to chronicle them. We may well be able to communicate with the plants… perhaps it'll stop any monsters from coming after us.”

“Good luck!” says Magnus, getting to his feet and wrapping Lucretia in a hug. “Don't let Merle fuck any plants.”

“I'll try,” she replies, shuddering, and nods at Taako before heading towards Merle’s room.

An hour later, the rest of the team is gathered up, wearing their normal exploration gear, weapons strapped to their backs. Magnus gives each of them hugs, and Taako doesn't, almost does but he can't - just hands each of them carefully wrapped up food. “Don't eat it all at once. Taako ain't gonna be there to feed ya when you're starvin’ ‘cause you ate all the piccata and soup.”

“We won't.” Davenport says, placing his hand on Merle’s shoulder. “You two stay safe. We should be back within a day or two.”

“Be careful,” Magnus says, and then they watch the rest of their team, their _family_ , walk away, with the overhanging knowledge that they may well not return this cycle.

(They don't know that those worries aren't unfounded: they _won't_ return.)

It’s been almost ten years, after all. They’ve grown close. So, three days in, Taako winds up stress-cooking. It's a bad habit, yeah, but definitely better than stress-eating everything like he's seen Barry do. Just - it's been three days without word from the others. Yeah, he's worried. Doesn't wanna lose them, too. ‘course he misses them, they’re all he has left.

Buuuut, he can't _exactly_ cook pancakes for dinner when they're out of the ingredients. No flour left, very little milk (he could use coconut milk from the last cycle, but he's saving that for something special. Something for Lup.) So he gets dressed for the first time in almost a week, actually brushes his hair, and knocks on the door to Magnus’s room. “You still alive? We're outta shit, I need to go down to the village.”

Roughly a minute and a half later, Magnus opens the door, his face somewhat flushed. He's dressed rather nicely - nice shirt (a bit tight), leather pants, and his red jacket. He’s fiddling with one sleeve. “You sure you want to go down there?”

“Yup. Jeez, m’dude, you look terrible.”

“Sorry, I was - uh -” Magnus just coughs and moves past him. “Let's go.”

They lock up (not that it does much, usually someone's always on the ship, but for once it's completely empty) and head down the ramp and then down into the valley. The town of Farsworth is small, quaint, lotta farms and winding dirt roads. Magnus and Taako look out of place among the locals, all halflings (there's one gnome but he's the mayor and they haven't met him yet.) They're too tall, the buildings too small for them, especially Magnus. It’s a nice town, though. Really. But Taako, who’s not that tall at all, is huge compared to them.

So while Magnus talks to the locals, asking questions and gathering intel, Taako stops at the market, grabbing fruits and vegetables and flour, stopping at each table and booth that’s still open this late - his basket filled with potatoes, a jar of honey, eggs, husked corn - and the butcher’s for meat. By the end he smells like dirt and citrus, and there’s some mud caked to the bottom of his boots.

At the butcher’s, he pays with what remaining silver he has, and the cashier gives him a single nod before turning back to the book she’s reading. “Have a nice day,” she intones, and he takes his basket and steps back out into the evening sun.

“You! Elf!”

He turns to see a curly-haired halfling waving him over to their shop, a wooden hand planted firmly on their hip. “C’mere, I got something for you, stranger!”

“Alright, let's hear it,” he says, following them into the shop, ducking his head to get inside. It's a dark, gauzy sort of store, with sheer fabric draped from the ceiling, the curtains closed, different multi-colored carpets thrown across the dark wood floor. The place’s totally a fire hazard, so many damn books stacked on the floor and candles everywhere, incense burning, and… tea brewing, maybe? Whatever it is, something fruity is brewing, bubbling in the distance. The air tastes heavy, earthy, almost moist - he doesn’t like it. “What's up, little man?”

“The sky,” says the halfling, who then bursts out into laughter. “Just kidding. I am Avis.”

“Hail and well met, amigo. So what's goin’ on? You said you got something for me?”

Avis leads him towards a tea cup-covered desk surrounded by tall stacks of cushions and plops down on one, snapping and causing the tea cups to disappear. Not powerful magic, but magic nonetheless. “Sit, sit! You are a stranger here, but I sense magic about you. Tea? Would you like tea?”

Taako swallows and sits on the ground. “Yeah, I'm a wizard, so that makes sense. And, uh… sure?” He wonders if he’ll regret that.

“I am a witch. I suppose you would consider me a wizard who is completely self-taught, eh? But no matter. You see, I saw you arrive, about a year ago, in my dreams. And then you did! You are a stranger to us, from another plane.” Avis grins and waves their wood hand, a tea cup appearing on a flower-covered saucer, filled with something that smells heavenly and herbal. “Yet… I knew when I saw you that I _had_ to have you.”

“Uh,” says Taako, moving for his wand. (Taako ain't sticking ‘round for some kinda horror show.)

“No, no, I mean - I am not from here either. I am a stranger as well. So I wish to read your fortune, one stranger to another. Do you consent to this?”

Hmm, he thinks. “Well, it can't hurt - sure, why not?”

Avis nods, laughing, and waves a hand over the table, a pile of cards appearing in their wake. They frown, reaching for one card, then pull away. Repeat the step a few more times. It's probably just an elaborate prop for this show. “Hmm. None of these call to me. _You_ must pick.”

He blinks. “Me?”

“Yes, yes. Which calls to you? Which is you?”

It takes a moment before he feels _something_ come over him - maybe smoke from the incense burning, or the candlelight, or whatever it is he's smelling, but he feels it. He feels one of the cards warm as his hand goes over it, and he stops, and picks it up. On the other side is an upside down, stylized lion, the sun directly behind it, and atop, scrawled out, VIII. Strength, easier to make out when he turns it over.

“Ah, Strength, Reversed,” murmurs Avis. “You doubt yourself, stranger. You have too many insecurities. You could be brave, radiate such _power_ , but you are… stuck. Those doubts confine you. You could be so much more, yet you are hiding your true potential behind a facade - you pretend you are fine, but you're not, are you?”

Taako almost drops his tea cup.

“Ah. I was correct.” They wave their hand again, the _cards_ suddenly rearranged. “Now… your allies, which card are they?”

This time, the feeling sets in quicker, and his hand moves on it's own, settling over a card. Three cups, emblazoned in silver, face him, surrounded by a banquet and flowers.

“They are your family. You love them, yes?”

“Well, yeah, but I know all this -”

“Mm, patience, Taako.”

... _what_? he thinks, before realizing he never told them his name. “How'd you -”

“I know many things. Many possibilities. Many futures. All things that could come and will come and should never come, ‘lest we all perish.” Once again, his hand moves of its own accord, picking up another card - where he's faced with a skull and a scythe, golden eyes following him as he examines it. Avis snatches it from his grasp without warning. “ _This_ is your future. Death.”

“I'd rather not die. Uh, thanks for the reading, but my compatriot out there's probably lookin’ for me, and, uhhh -”

Avis laughs again. “Death means _change_ , not necessarily dying itself. Metamorphosis. The end of a cycle and... beginning of a new one. Don't you want to know what that entails? Where your future is headed? Disaster, suffering… perhaps… love?”

“Look, I got food on the stove, y’know how it is -” (That’s a lie. He doesn’t.)

“I see. You wish to go in unprepared.”

“That’s not -”

Avis just shakes their head, and smoke surrounds him, turning the room white, and he bats it away, but it's filling the room, and then -

The smoke dissipates, and so does the shop, and he's left standing in the middle of the road, Magnus right in front of him. Well, not exactly. But he's right there. Taako stumbles forward, almost crashing into him, but manages to right himself, grabbing at the basket he's once again grasping tightly.

“What the _fuck_?” he groans, looking around for the store. It's just not _there_. “I was - Mango, I was in this shop, and -”

“What're you talking about?” Magnus asks, looking at him, concerned. “You okay?”

“Jeez, Magnus, you sound like my aunt. Let's - can we just go back to the Starblaster?”

“Yeah, sure. I… bought some beer, figured maybe we could play cards or something…?”

Taako grabs his arm and steers him back towards the ship. “Sure, whatever, let's just get the fuck outta here, my man. I'm _not_ becoming part of some horror film.”

They get back, Taako finishes cooking dinner - not pancakes, honestly he's a bit bothered by the idea, but pasta to go with the beer Magnus got. It shouldn't be too bad, he figures. So they sit down at the table with cards and Magnus tries to make small talk. Normal shit, like “You ever do sports?” and “You think they'll get the Light?”, _except_ that Magnus is wearing a pair of cool guy sunglasses atop his head and no shirt under his jacket and Taako is most _definitely_ gay, alright?

Yeah, Magnus is hot as hell. All rough and big and muscle-y and… yep, gay.

Except there's two problems. One, Taako just lost his sister, his best friend, his other half, platonic soulmate, whatever.

“Taako?”

“Yeeeeeees?”

Magnus’s lips tilt to a smile and says, “Uh, this is pretty good.”

And two? Taako doesn't like him like _that_.

(If he did, Magnus is too good for him. He's kind and brave and Taako's a narcissistic asshole most the time.)

“Yeah?”

“Pasta’s always good,” he continues, shoveling several bites into his mouth at once, then continues, speaking with his mouth full. “So’s the beer, but, you know.”

“Mhm.”

“I'm sorry about…”

“Don't,” Taako says, standing up, clearing the table. He turns away from Magnus, puts his hands on either side of the sink. “M’tired of hearing apologies ‘bout her being gone, okay? She's gone, nothin’ we can do. I miss her a _lot_ , she's - she's my soul, Maggie. Y’can't get it, _you're_ not a twin, but she's my other half, my baby sister, n’I miss her, I _do_ , but can't keep dwellin’ on it. Lup wouldn't want that. ‘specially not with everything else.”

Magnus coughs again and says, a bit gruff, “I was going to say I'm sorry about trying to… push you to talk about it.”

“Oh.”

Magnus takes another swig of his beer, then laughs, his nose crinkling a bit. “You jump a _lot_ of conclusions.”

“You know how I grew up?”

“Not really.”

He finishes washing the dishes and turns back to Magnus. “What _do_ you know ‘bout me and Lup, pre-IPRE?”

“That you spent some time in a circus?”

Taako frowns. “Was just us, ‘cept when it wasn't. Learned early to go with your gut feelin’, ‘cause you're the only one you can trust. Life's a bitch, so you're a bitch back.” It's the alcohol in his system talking, but he can't seem to quit. So he grabs his beer and takes another drink, savoring the bitterness. “Lup… she's friendlier ‘cause she's not scared anymore.”

‘cause he was scared. Is scared. He protects her, he's the older one, it's just what he does.

Magnus just looks at him, doesn't speak.

“Our - _my_ \- aunt and uncle died when we were, like, thirty or so. We were kids. ‘bout ten to you,” he adds, laughing bitterly. “Our ‘parents’ weren't there, _if_ y’could call ‘em parents. We got passed from relative to relative. Nobody wants to deal w’two messes.” He downs the bottle in another swig, then laughs again, shaking his head - why the fuck is he even talking? He doesn't just share this shit, it's _private_.

He raises his hand to wipe away tears he didn’t even notice at first, and his shoulders slump. Damn, now he’s crying in front of Magnus?

“Don’t cry,” says Magnus. Then - “Sorry.”

“Yikes, my dude, you apologize _waaay_ too much.”

Magnus doesn't speak - again - but he does get up, cross over to Taako, and put a hand on his arm. Taako feels the urge to hug him. “I don't understand, but I can try.”

What's he supposed to say to that?

“Thanks.” Same goes for you, he thinks. I don't mind listening to you, he thinks. He doesn't say any of that. “You're not a bad dude, y’know. Pretty solid guy,” he says, and pats Magnus on the arm before pulling away. “My aunt, she’d _love_ you.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah, you eat so fuckin’ much. It’s a _bit_ disconcertin’, honestly. You’re gonna get huge if you keep eating all my cooking. Not that you’re not already huge, just, different kinda big.”

“I’m only twenty,” says Magnus, almost pouting, crossing his arms. “I need energy! For strength! And constitution! And all that stuff!”

Taako barks out a laugh. “You’re more like thirty, but whatever. Maybe _physically_ twenty, but we’ve been here almost ten years, Mango.”

“...Jesus, has it been that long?”

“Yup,” he replies, taking extra care to pop the P. “S’been a while.”

“Feels a lot shorter,” Magnus says, scratching the back of his neck, “and - well - also a lot longer.”

Taako grabs another beer and heads to the couch, plopping down to lean across the arm. “How's it feel, livin’ like an elf? Y’get the life so many dream of, unlimited lives!” He scoffs. Sucks, doesn't it?

“It's -” Magnus sorta studies his hands for a second, like he's caught up in how nice his nail polish looks. “Kinda overwhelming. I should be twenty nine now. It's… weird.” He pauses, biting his lip. “They should be back by now.”

“They won't answer their,” Taako groans. “Maybe they all died.”

“Don't say that,” says Magnus, but Taako can tell he's expecting that. He moves closer, sitting down next to Taako. “They might be okay - Barry’s good at fighting, and Merle’s with them. And Lucretia, she'll keep them on track, she's good at that.”

“Mmm, I dunno, my dude. They've been gone a while.” He can feel tears prickling in his eyes, and he instinctively wipes them away. “S’been three days.”

Magnus empties the rest of his bottle, his legs spread out, and he leans back, his hand dragging down his face. “Maybe it's taking longer than expected.”

Taako scoots a bit closer, his knee touching Magnus’s. “Dunno. Maybe.”

“We can't lose them, too, Taako,” and Magnus’s voice sounds raw, and Taako can tell he's trying not to cry. “I - I don't think I can handle that, it's never been just two of us before. Not this _early_.”

“Remember last cycle, when you died?”

“...yeah, how could I forget?”

“When Lup told me, I thought, ‘no way’s Maggie dead, he's invincible.’ But y’were,” he says, reaching over to pat Magnus’s leg, “and it fucking sucks, but you came back. They will too. ‘sides, you die this cycle and I'm gonna murder you the second I see you next time, capiche?”

God, he's definitely not sober.

“Please don't,” Magnus says with a weak laugh.

“Now _I'm_ going to sleep,” says Taako, stretching and getting to his feet. He's not sure what possesses him, but he looks Magnus in the eyes and says, “you coming?”

And Magnus says, “Yeah.”

He's never liked Magnus’s room, but it's better than being alone, especially when it's this _quiet_ , this empty. Magnus kicks off his shoes and tosses them at one corner, and turns his back to Taako, pulling off his jacket and shirt. Taako's mouth feels dry, watching Magnus sorta stretch, his shoulder blades and back this perfect view, though covered in scars.

Taako clambers into the bed, watches Magnus change out of his pants and into a pair of softer, fuzzy pants (Taako bets it's soft, the fabric.) “Sorry,” Magnus says, all apologetic, when he's finished.

Taako gives a dry laugh. “No biggie. Mind if I… borrow a shirt?” Sleeping in his get up probably isn't the best idea, even if he looks great. But his pants are a bit too tight and his shirt’s all ruffles and tulle (his heels came off earlier, but still) so again, not good for sleep.

“Go ahead,” Magnus mumbles.

He strips down to his underwear (not even nice underwear, but he's too tipsy to care) and rummages through Magnus’s drawers til he finds something nice - a soft, faded tee, with the fantasy Pepsi logo. It's not too big for him, but it's nice, so he pulls it on and climbs back into the bed, not even bothering for his wand to turn the lights off. Just a snap and the room's dark.

Magnus scoots back, probably to make room for him, and Taako finds himself studying Magnus’s face - the tiny scar on his eyebrow, the freckles on his nose, his chapped lips, short eyelashes, dark eyes, the scruff on his chin. He's… beautiful, Taako thinks with a jolt to his stomach. He's so beautiful it actually hurts.

Then Magnus lets out a snore and Taako unwittingly buries his face into Magnus’s bare chest, just the smell of his skin more than he can handle. A part of him wonders what it would be like to trace the scars beneath his pecs, how it would feel to kiss his shoulders. And do more, too, shit that's X rated and he _knows_ he _shouldn't_ think about. How Magnus tastes, how his face would look tilted back and -

_Stop, Jesus fuckin’ Christ_! What would Lup think if she knew the kinda stuff he's thinking about?

It's just the alcohol, he reminds himself. It'll be gone by morning.

 

Breakfast (at noon, mind you) consists of leftover scones and somewhat burnt coffee, not that he drinks much of it. Taako grabs a mug and some hot water and plops a tea bag in there, watches the color blossom outwards, then sits down across from Magnus, rests his arms on the table while it steeps.

“Maybe it's kinda a good thing. I woulda hated year - what's it, nine? - of the Watch Lup and Barry Pine Over Each Other Show. They keep dancin’ round their damn feelings and s’ _exhausting_.” He forces a smile, trying to diffuse the situation somehow, but he's pretty sure it's not working. “I mean, how many more cycles can a guy take? Zero, m’dude. _Zero_.”

“Maybe they're scared?” Magnus asks, taking a drink of his coffee. He winces and spits it back out into the cup. “Jeez, this is horrible.”

Taako shrugs. “Eh, dunno _why_ they'd be. S’Lup, she's not scared of shit.” Sure, feelings are scary, especially _those_ kind, but Lup is _Lup_. She's not scared of anything, ‘cept maybe losing Taako, but that's mutual.

...not that Taako can really relate to the whole feelings thing.

“Well, you know Barry.”

“Barry? He thinks _curling_ is the epitome of sports.” Taako rolls his eyes. “I mean, I kinda get it, Lup’s… always had problems datin’. ‘specially before she transitioned. But, still, if anyone's gonna be cool with that, it's Barold J Bluejeans, or whatever his _real_ last name is.”

“Hallwinter.”

“Sounds stupid.”

Magnus snorts. “Last names are last names. You're just born with it.”

“Yeah, _Burnsides_ \- you prepositioned to havin’ huge sideburns?”

Magnus raises a hand to touch his sideburns. “I've been working on growing these _forever_! It was really hard ‘cause nobody in my hometown had magic, okay? Took me years to get on T.” He lets out a bit of a groan. “Still haven't really transitioned, and I kinda ran out, but…”

“Mango, my man.”

Magnus stares at him.

“I'm a transmutation wizard. It's in the _name_.”

“Oh - _oh_.”

“Yeah, I can whip somethin’ up, no biggie,” he says, stirring some cream into his tea. “Transmutation’s all about changing things. Everything's in a constant state of flux, y’just gotta learn to harness it. Sure, it's no erecting barriers or summoning animals or huge rays o’ frost, but it's somethin’. I helped Lup transition, though, and that's what matters. Plus,” he says, snickering, “means I can give myself whatever _parts_ I want.”

Magnus chokes on his scone, his face visibly red. “Wh - _why_?”

It's a nice look.

“Why not?” Taako snorts. “You should see your face, oh my God.”

“I'd rather not hear about your… sexmutations.”

“Pfft.”

Magnus’s shoulders slump somewhat, his face still reddened.

Taako picks at his scone. “I think they're not coming back, Mags.”

“I tried contacting them, but the Stones still don't work. They won’t answer.” He sighs. “They could be lost, or taking too long. Maybe Merle decided to fuck some plants. At least _someone_ here’d be getting it.” And then Magnus slumps down in the chair, and he groans, face in his hands.

Taako blinks at him. “You okay?”

“I'm - doesn't matter.”

“Yeah, it _matters_. Talk to me. If we're the last two people alive, I can't have you keepin’ secrets and shit.” Lup didn't keep secrets from him - couldn't even hide a present from him without admitting to it at one point, but she's gotten better at that. 

God, he can't wait for the reset.

Magnus coughs. “I'm… really fucking horny, alright? Have barely... gotten off since we took off.”

“Ohhhh. Then go jack off or somethin’.”

Magnus straight up winces. “I'm _not_ having this conversation.”

“ _Listen_ … sex is sex, my dude. No biggie.” But, jeez, he completely understands. Taako's horny as fuck (and the very idea of Magnus’s hands in his hair, tugging at the roots while Taako fucks him hard, or _Magnus_ fucks _him_? Still going strong.) But it can't interfere. Especially not with co-workers! Lup being head over heels in love with Barry is enough (or, _whatever_ Merle and Davenport is, he thinks it's something) - but Taako, even _thinking_ about fucking _Magnus_? Nope, nada, zilch. Not happening. Not in a gazillion years. It's bad, Scoob.

It's just the fact that he misses Lup, that's all it is. His feelings are all mixed up ‘cause she's gone.

Magnus fiddles with the sleeves on his jacket. “Not talking about this.”

Taako just laughs so hard he almost spills his tea.

 

It’s day _seven_ without communication.

Stress-cooking isn’t even the whole of it: at this point, Taako’s worried sick. So’s Magnus, obviously - if anything, he’s probably more worried. He’s the security officer. Keeps muttering about how he should’ve been with them, how he should’ve gone, literally anything.

They sit on the deck, watching the sun set, the colors bleed from the sky and into the horizon, and Magnus turns to him and says, “if they’re gone, we need to set rules in place.”

“Magno, m’dude, I bend rules for fun. S’like an infinite bendy straw.” He reaches over, takes Magnus’s hand (and it’s weird, it feels really fucking weird) and squeezes it. He’s never been great with sympathy, ‘specially not when he’s worried, too.

“That’s -” Magnus actually laughs. “I mean, like… one of us needs to be on the ship at all times.”

It’s silence for a moment or two, the wind rustling, Taako’s hair shifting with the breeze. It’s… actually nice, he thinks, slowly letting go of Magnus’s hand. “I vote you. Taako can’t go without sunshine. It’s really bad for my complexion,” he jokes, but he doesn’t look over at Magnus, just fiddles with the chain around his neck. His chest feels tight, stomach churning, the usual symptoms of worry. (This _wouldn’t_ have happened if _Lup_ had survived and not you, he thinks. Shoulda been _you_ who died, not her.)

“Taako, this is serious.”

Taako looks him straight in the eyes, swallows. “You think I _don’t_ know that? M’ _just_ as worried as you are, okay?”

“I know.”

“Then don’t act like I’m not, alrighty? M’trying here, not much I can do if we’re _both_ moping around -”

Magnus holds up a hand to interrupt him. “ _Stop_. Seriously, shut up, you don’t need to always be right, for fuck’s sake. This is _your_ fault, if you’d just - if we’d just -”

“ _Really_? You’re _blaming_ me?”

Magnus pinches the bridge of his nose, his voice wavering. “That’s - that’s not what I - look, I’m just -”

Taako leans away from him, gets to his feet, the tightening in his chest moving to his stomach. “No, I know what you meant, m’dude. I know _exactly_ what you meant.” Well, fuck him for bothering to try and - Gods, what’s it he’s always said? _If you let someone in, they’ll only hurt you_. If he’d just stuck to that, not tried to comfort -

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says, getting to his feet too, his voice all weak. “Look, I’m - we’re both - it’s really stressful. I didn’t mean -”

“ _You_ shut up.”

“Taako -”

He can feel his heart thundering in his chest, and it’s drowning out everything else - the wind, the trees shaking below, draining the colors from the sky. Sure, he’s being dramatic, but he’s Taako. T-to the double A-K-O. It’s just part of him, for crying out loud. “Don’t ‘Taako’ me, _Magnus_.”

“Taako - listen -”

Magnus reaches out a hand, and Taako jerks back, then runs towards the door.

Yeah, he’s frustrated, he’s pissed, and worst - he can feel himself on the verge of crying, he _misses_ Lup so fucking much. It hurts, she’s not here, and… he locks himself in the bathroom, turning the water on, practically throwing himself under the hot water, not even bothering to strip out of his clothes. He needs her, she’d know what to do, she could go look for them, she’d know - but she’s not here, she’s not, and he just turns up the water until it’s so hot it’s almost scalding.

He feels hollow, like his lungs are missing, his heart - it’s gone, she’s gone. She’s never died this early on, she’s never _left_ him like this before, never. So he just lays there, beneath the shower, drowning out everything else. Doesn’t even cry - he just _can’t_.

The water goes from burning to warm and then to cold, and he’s just utterly _numb_. Doesn’t even feel it anymore. His clothes are soaked, his hair’s falling over his face, and he almost can’t breathe. She’s just gone. Lup, his sister. His soulmate. His everything. Even when he hasn’t even had himself, he’s had her, and now everyone else is gone, too, and he’s fucked it up again, like he always -

“Taako?”

There’s a banging on the door, and he knows it’s Magnus, so he just curls up on the tile, covering his ears.

“Taako, if you don’t answer me, I’m going to break down this door,” Magnus shouts.

Taako closes his eyes.

“You’ve been in here for three hours, _please_ \- please open up, I’m - I’m sorry, just -”

Taako slowly stands, turns off the water, and steps out of the shower. The second he sees his reflection in the mirror, it’s like something clicks inside him. Red eyes, mascara on his cheeks, messy hair, sopping wet clothes, nails bitten to the quick. He looks _nothing_ like himself.

(And worse, nothing like Lup.)

“Taako,” Magnus says, and he sounds so _soft_. “Please, let me in.”

He turns to the door and unlocks it, and then Magnus rushes in (as he always does) and Taako just collapses into him, stumbling, crying, and he can’t tell if it’s his wet clothes and hair or the tears that get all over Magnus’s shirt (or both), but he _can_ tell that Magnus is whispering to him, telling him it’s okay, promising that they’ll make it to the next cycle.

 

Three months in, and they’ve settled for some semblance of a routine. Taako makes a small breakfast, Magnus trains, they go into the village if necessary (usually it’s just Magnus, or just Taako, but occasionally both.) Lunch is usually pretty small, too. Sometimes they drink, sometimes they play cards, sometimes they just sit around in complete silence. Then dinner’s a bit bigger, and then Taako climbs into bed with Magnus and neither of them mention it out loud.

Because if they do, it becomes real, tangible, and they’ll have to face it.

Or at least, that’s what Taako thinks is going on - that, or Magnus just doesn’t care.

“We need to move the ship,” says Magnus one night, with Taako's hands curled against his shirt. His voice is somewhat muffled, going right over Taako's head. “The locals don't like us being here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah - uh - apparently we're taking up space? I don't know, but… got directions to a nearby city.”

Taako’s ears perk up at that. “City? Like, an actual fuckin’ _city_?”

“That's what they said,” Magnus whispers back, his eyes closing. “Called Highever. Do - do you have any idea how to pilot this thing?”

“Nope. Thought _you_ did, Mr. Vehicle Proficiency.”

“I mean - I _do_ , but - never _had_ to.”

“Eh, what's the worst that could happen?”

Turns out to be nothing - Magnus maneuvers the ship away from Farsworth, over the trees and grassy plains, and towards the nearby city. It's bigger, even from looking down at it, and stunningly beautiful - and as they land, hidden behind some trees (no need to scare the locals), Taako can tell it's bustling with activity.

“We should check it out,” Magnus says, leaning over the railing, looking out at what he can see.

“Well - dunno if _that's_ a good idea, maybe we, uh, we mull it over a few days?”

Magnus laughs, the wind rustling through his short hair. “Taako, can't you? They're _elves_. An entire city of _elves_.”

And that's that - at sunrise, they get dressed, sandwiches wrapped in brown paper tucked in Taako’s bag. As always, Taako looks impeccable, but he _always_ does, so it's not like it's outta the ordinary. And Magnus… he's probably more excited than Taako's ever seen him, his eyes lit up, his cheeks somewhat flushed.

“We going, compadre?” Taako asks, raising a brow, when they reach the outskirts and Magnus freezes in place.

“Yeah, yeah - just - Gods, Taako, _look_ at it -” And he gestures at it, at Highever, the buildings built out of the finest wood and stone, everything perfect. Silver and blue banners hang from windows, and there's a definite chill in the air, one he finds he doesn't mind.

It _almost_ reminds Taako of his just-barely-there childhood.

Almost.

“I could stare at it for _years_ ,” Magnus mumbles. “It's - _it's_ _amazing_!”

“Take a picture, m’dude, it'll last longer. Listen, I just wanna get this over with - get some supplies and shit.” His hand goes to the wand at his hip, always at the ready. Like Lup, he thinks.

Magnus nods and together, they walk into the city, beneath the hanging banners and the guard towers lining the short wall around the city. One guard, long hair tied in a ponytail, steps towards them. “State your names and business here.”

Another guard, wearing the same black and yellow armor, elbows the first and says, “ _Clearly_ they're here for Sae’risem, Jace.”

“Yep! That's us, Magnus Burnsides and -”

“Justin,” says Taako quickly.

“- my friend, Justin. Uh, we're here for that thing you just said. _Exactly_ that. See, Ta - Justin's an elf, just look at his ears! We come for Sunrise -”

“Sae’risem,” interjects the first guard.

“Sorry, yes, that, my Elvish is _really_ bad. We're here for Sae’risem and to trade! We're foreigners!”

“Ah,” says the second guard, smiling brightly. “See, Jace, I told you - they're just southerners! I always hoped I'd meet one of our sun elven cousins - it's nice to meet you, Ta-Justin. I'm Daphne, and this is Jace. Welcome to Highever, brethren! Will you need a guide around the city?”

“Nah, we're good!” Taako grabs Magnus’s arm to stop him from accepting a tour. “Can you just, like, point is towards the market? ‘cause we need some supplies and stuff, ya know how it is.”

“Oh, alright,” Daphne replies, shoulders slumping. She pulls a map out of her pocket, and what looks like a peach colored crayon, and circles a section. “I'll probably see you at the festival, just gimme back the map then!”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” says Taako, with no plan to return it. “Toodles!”

And he drags Magnus past the guards and into the city, where the dirt road turns to cobblestone streets and tall iron street lamps jut into the sky, illuminated by magic. It's not even dark, but Sae’risem, or whatever the festival is, is in preparation mode - people setting up booths in a big circular area (the map designates it as the festival grounds), people wearing fancy blue and white garments, etcetera. Hell, it's barely morning, and they're already setting up.

“Hey, Taako?”

Taako looks down at the map in his hands. “Mhm?”

“Do you have any idea what this Sae-whatever is?”

“Not a clue, my dude.”

“You're an elf, I just figured -”

Taako meets his eyes and frowns. “For one, I'm not a moon elf - Jesus Christ, why's everyone think I am? For _two_ , I don't know _everything_ , Mango. Spent most my life away from elven society, alrighty?”

“Sorry. I just - it's confusing and -” Magnus pauses. “Oh my God, you smell that?”

He takes in a whiff of air, and it hits him. Almost overwhelming, something sweet and earthy. Enough that he stumbles for a split second, almost hitting a booth behind him. “What _the fuck_?”

“Taako?” And Magnus is trying to steady him.

“M’fine,” Taako mumbles, batting Magnus’s hands away. “Jeez, that's _strong_.”

“No it's not, just - you know, cotton candy? Or, oh, Taako, funnel cake -” Magnus drifts into thought, his eyes wide. “Reminds me of my hometown. During the Harvest Festival. _Damn_ , that was a long time ago.”

Taako blinks a few times, focuses, and the scent fades - but it was still there, and he feels almost intoxicated, nausea spinning in his stomach, the dizziness a bit much. But then it's gone, and it's as if it never happened. “Let's - let's just go.”

“Are you okay?”

“Never better! Just wanna get the stuff we need n’drop it off. Back at the ship.”

“We'll come back, right?” says Magnus, his voice all pleading and his lips pressed in a pout. “I know it's weird, but... I really want funnel cake? Or something deep fried?”

It strikes him then how _young_ Magnus is - just about twenty in human years, so young compared to Taako's ninety six (or is it technically a hundred and six?) Sure, Taako's pretty young for an adventuring elf, but he's completely matured, physically and emotionally - and Magnus is basically a child to him. It's like he's babysitting. Or dealing with a candle that's already partway burnt down, the wax pooling. Taako's gonna outlive him by five, six hundred years.

Yet, in _human_ terms, Magnus is a full fledged adult, with so little time left in him (yet so much, in his eyes.)

So if Magnus wants just this… especially when their home is gone, destroyed, and their team is currently dead…

“Yeah, sure, sounds good t’me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend a year alone, part two.
> 
> (Also, Magnus gets fucked (up.) Taako's completely normal.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for - sexual content (if you want to skip it, in the first section stop at "“Didn’t think that’d ever happen.”" to the beginning of the next section. in section three, skip from "“Mmm, kinda.”" to the next section), referenced child abuse, what could be construed as dubious consent (i'm pretty sure i was able to portray it as not being dub-con, there is consent, but an aphrodisiac is involved.)

Magnus has never been one for big, traditional celebration type things - but this, Sae’risem or whatever it's called, it's nostalgia inducing. Just how the air smells, cotton candy, roasting meat, the tang of bodies pressed close… he can't help but like it. The pretty clothes, the sun lowering, the frosty air just perfect, just like his hometown in the fall. If there were apples, coated in caramel and chocolate, it'd be complete.

Taako’s dressed to the nines, a gauzy skirt that fans out as he walks, stopping just at his ankles, golden bangles jingling on his wrists. The beads around his neck shuffle as he deposits a few silver coins at one booth, then turns and hands Magnus a pale blue wad of cotton candy. He plucks some of the floss off, plops it in his mouth, and lets it melt down, savoring the taste.

Taako vaguely smiles, showcasing the tiny gap between his teeth, and says, “So what do y’wanna do, my man?”

“Well, uh -” There sadly aren't many games (though he's not surprised, elves don't seem like the kind of people who enjoy carnival games), but there _are_ booths filled with people selling wares - clothes, jewelry, handmade soaps, weaponry. Magnus finds himself eyeing a bronze axe with intricate designs on the wooden hilt. “We could window shop?”

“Okie dokie, your call,” says Taako in response, already over by the stall Magnus is eyeing. “Wow, these swords are gorgeous - you're very talented.”

“Thank you,” replies the vendor, an attractive elven man with silvery curls and a cocky smile playing on his lips. “You seem like you understand finer tastes - perhaps you'd like to look at our staves?”

“I'm more of a wand guy myself,” Taako says, and laughs, and straight up bats his eyelashes at the guy.

Magnus doesn't even realize he's gritting his teeth until his jaw starts to ache. He crosses his arms over his chest, hoping nobody notices his expression.

“Well, you're in luck.” The vendor brushes a few strands of his hair away from his face, a shitty grin on his thin lips. He leans down, probably giving Taako a great view of his ass, probably on purpose, and picks up a tray, setting it down on the table. “The finest wands in all of Highever - I promise you _won't_ find better.”

“Oh? And if I do?”

“Then I'll just owe you,” says the vendor, a little too close to Taako.

Magnus moves closer, pretending to look at the knives laid out in front of them - he has his own, his grandfather's knife, tucked away in his belt. Not like he needs two. And they're not _that_ great, he thinks, glancing sideways at Taako. He could find better literally anywhere, so what if they're fancy and pretty?

Taako picks up a thin wooden wand, silver twine wrapped around it. “Hmm. Maggie?”

“Eh, yours is nicer.”

Taako laughs, and it's _lovely_ , and Magnus feels a heat in his chest. “Mmm, I'd disagree - but, y’know, wands _are_ just conduits. Suppose it only matters aesthetically.” He sets the wand down and picks up another one, this one with a metal rose at the end. “Now, _this_ I could get behind - it enchanted?”

“Adds -” The vendor pauses, looking it over. “- lightning damage, I believe.”

“How much?”

“Two thousand, but for you? One thousand and five hundred.”

Taako genuinely looks like he's considering it, but then he shakes his head and sets it down next to the first one. “Pity.”

“Ah, you want to see the rest of the festival before you buy anything?”

“Something like that. C’mon, Mags, let's go look at those necklaces -” And Magnus feels a hand on his wrist, yanking him away from the booth. He looks back at Magnus, his eyes all big. “Jeezy creezy, did you hear how much that _cost_?”

“Yeah, we… don't have that kind of money.”

Taako tilts his head, glancing back over at the booth. “No shit. Gods, what if _all_ this shit costs that much? Guess we won't get any souvenirs.”

“That's okay! We'll just - look at stuff.”

Like the pendants, rings, bracelets, piercings on display - a multicolored mix of precious stones and shiny metal. They're all beautiful, the kind of stuff Taako would wear. In fact, Taako picks up a pair of dangling black diamond earrings and holds them up to his ear. “Thoughts?”

“It looks nice?”

“Gods, you're no help,” Taako groans, then turns to the woman behind the booth, who shakes her head and picks up a different pair, complete with rubies and translucent glass. “Ohhhh, yeah, these are _definitely_ my style. And - are those _matching necklaces_?”

Magnus turns away, looking at the other stalls - food, more jewelry, weapons, armor, clothes, trinkets. A small family of elves, all matching black hair and silver eyes and dark blue skin, walks past him, giggling and eating nuts out of brown paper bags. Magnus takes another bite of cotton candy, attempting to ignore the grumble in his stomach.

“Okay, next stall?” asks Taako, his voice louder than usual over the sounds of conversations and the sizzle of cooking foods.

“Sure,” he says, and they move on.

Within an hour, Magnus’s feet are sore, the air is cold, and the cotton candy is completely gone, and the sun has set, bathing the streets in torchlight. It flickers over them, casting strange shadows across the stone paths.

“Two drinks?” he asks the guy at the counter, who looks ecstatic about everything going on. “Uh, one - of that second tea, and a hot chocolate?”

“Coming right up! Sae’risem special?”

“Sure?”

The guy laughs and starts on the drinks, setting out mismatched mugs, pouring tea into one and creamy brown liquid into the other. He pays, takes a sip of the cocoa - it's perfect, creamy and chocolatey and sweet but not too sweet (but not too not sweet.)

He rolls his shoulders and stretches, pushing his way through the crowd and trying not to drop the mugs in his hands. He finds Taako watching a group of bards, dancing and singing and clapping, and Taako's bobbing his head to the music, laughing. Magnus has to stop, just stare at the joy on his face, how his bracelets clink together when he claps as the routine ends.

He's _beautiful_. No doubt there.

“One - chamomile tea?”

“It's ginger and lemon,” Taako replies, taking the mug from him. “Smells delicious, though.”

“I just got cocoa,” he says, feeling a warmth in his stomach as he finishes the mug.

“‘course y’did.”

“So,” Magnus says, moving a bit closer so the crowd doesn't separate them, “what do you think this whole festival thing's for?”

“No clue.”

Magnus looks around, at the flowers and candles nestled in glass jars, the blue and white colors everywhere. “Taako - do you think it's Candlenights?”

“Nah, it's - January, I think?” Taako shakes his head, takes a drink. “I dunno.”

Then, two things happen simultaneously - the moon comes out, bright and shining and full, and Magnus feels something in his stomach burning and ravenous. It's sudden, and he can feel heat pool between his thighs. Taako looks startled when Magnus stifles a yelp. Everyone else around looks completely fine, save maybe a person here and there, but -

“ _Magnus_ ,” Taako says between his teeth, “ _what the_ hell _did you buy_?”

“Just - _drinks_ , I swear!”

“Excuse me,” says Taako, tapping on a random person's shoulder. “We're not _from_ here, and I _suppose_ the name of this festival got lost in translation… would you mind explaining what it is?”

The random elf man snorts. “Sae’risem.”

“No, we mean -” starts Magnus, but he's cut off.

“It's the fertility festival, my friend. Lot of the younger elves here take aphrodisiacs, you know how it is.”

“Oh, _shit_ ,” Taako says, looking back at Magnus, his hands shaking. “Hoo, boy. Hear that? You gave us a fucking _aphrodisiac_.”

And it hits him _exactly_ what he's feeling, the lurch in his stomach, the heat between his legs, how fast his heartbeat is going - arousal.

Taako laughs, his voice shaky, grabs Magnus’s arm and starts pulling him out of the crowd, and just the barest touch is _electrifying_. “C’mon. Dunno how much was in that, but - gonna need to get back to the ‘Blaster -”

Magnus can feel his legs quivering, something between them pulsing. “Taako -” His breath falters, the corners of his vision going blurry. It feels a lot like being drunk, but also like he's just really, _ridiculously_ horny.

“ _Taako_ ,” he whispers, _basically_ moans, and his face heats up considerably at that. God, why couldn't he be here with Lucretia, accidentally taking a _literal_ aphrodisiac? And why's it so fucking _much_ when nobody else seems all that affected? “Not - not gonna make it - just -”

“ _Shit_ ,” says Taako, fumbling, pulling Magnus farther from the crowd - “Okay, listen… you can make it, s’okay, focus on me?” His voice is breathy, kinda husky, so fucking _nice_. “Maggie, focus on me, okay?”

He staggers, but they're farther away now, and he only hits the side of a building. “Can't.”

“ _Jesus_ , when was the last time you had -”

“Before we left, okay?” It's spit out, harsh, and he can't help it, his mouth is watering and he's pretty sure his underwear is soaked. Okay, probably not, but he knows he won't make it back before it is.

Taako swallows, visibly, looks up, and then laughs so hard he steps backwards. “Okay, look at me, got it? You're gonna stay right here, m’gonna get a room.”

“Taako -”

“We're right in front of an inn, my dude. _You_ can stay here, jerk off, n’I go back to the ship, sound good?” And then he's gone, disappearing into the building, leaving Magnus behind, his legs still quivering. It feels like an eternity before Taako's back, lit up by the fire light, and holding a key. “C’mon.”

The room's small and dark and God, he wishes it was his room (but obviously it's not.) Smells musty, like someone's been smoking up the place, but the bed’s not uncomfortable - he collapses on the bed, breathing heavily, and Taako's just kinda staring at him, so Magnus wets his lips and hastily mumbles out a “you can stay”, face getting even hotter, but Taako doesn't seem to hear it. The air buzzes and his body _aches_ , needing release, something real and impure.

Then, Taako meets his eyes and says, “You gonna kiss me, big guy?”

“Can I?” Magnus rasps out, hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s begging.

Taako climbs onto the bed, hovering over Magnus, his eyes dark. He’s so _close_ , Magnus can feel his breath in the air, feels the beads on Taako’s necklace brush his chest as Taako gets right above him and puts his hands on either side of Magnus’s face. And then he kisses him, _hard_ , and Magnus’s hands go straight to Taako’s hips. Their noses bump together, teeth clattering, Taako’s nails digging into Magnus’s shoulders now.

They pull apart, saliva hanging between them. Magnus breathes heavily, his voice hoarse and raw when he whispers, “Didn’t think that’d ever happen.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Taako replies, his eyes half closed, before kissing him again, hurriedly, his teeth scraping Magnus’s lips. It's good, kinda sloppy. Like his first few kisses were. Taako’s hips grind into his, creating friction, and Magnus’s stomach burns with need, slow and insistent. He can't help it - he groans into Taako's mouth, trying to arch his body up, get closer, make more friction. Taako laughs into his mouth, then pulls back again, leaving Magnus trembling and wet enough to feel it. “What d’you want?”

“ _You_ ,” he breathes. “ _Please_ -”

Taako’s brow furrows. “Mags -”

“I'm - _not_ gonna regret it,” Magnus says, still out of breath, struggling to talk and breathe. He props himself up with his elbows, swallowing, meeting Taako's eyes. “ _Kinda_ been - been wanting it a while. Just a lot _harder_ to ignore right now.”

“S’just the aphrodisiac,” Taako murmurs.

“Don't care. Lemme kiss you.”

Taako starts laughing, the prettiest noise, and Magnus pulls up and reaches over and kisses him, trying to be gentle, but that goes away terribly quickly. Taako pushes him back down, easily, and straddles him, knees digging into Magnus’s ribs. He's sweating, he can feel it, prickling against his skin, but Taako doesn't seem to notice. 

Taako raises his hands above his head and pulls off his shirt, his brown skin almost glowing with the barely there candlelight. The beads hit his bare chest, and Magnus can see the scars - none very far apart, across his chest, probably self harm. But he doesn't know, doesn't ask (Taako can explain if he wants, _when_ he wants.)

“Not _fair_ ,” Magnus groans, and Taako throws his head back and laughs again, languidly and lazily.

Magnus raises a hand to touch him, or at least try to, but then Taako's kissing him again, practically fucking his mouth with his tongue. Then he pauses, smiling against Magnus’s skin. “ _Life's_ not fair, m’dude,” says Taako, less than an inch from his face, his lips so close Magnus can feel the words. Then he's off him, standing back on the ground, slipping out of his skirt. He's hard, his lacy underwear not at all fitting him, and then those are gone, too (and, God, he's got a _great_ dick, curved and not too big, about average, but still.) He takes off one heel, then the other, dropping them in the pile with his skirt and shirt.

He's gorgeous, ethereal, probably some long lost planetouched DNA in his blood somewhere - his golden hair, dark at the roots, his lush dark eyes…

Magnus tries to sit up, but Taako presses a hand to his chest. “Wh’do you _want_?”

“You -”

Taako’s voice takes on a teasing, silky tone, and he curls up at his side, still touching his chest. “No, no, _how_?”

“- now?”

“D’you want me to suck you off ‘til you're too tired t’move, or d’you wanna start w’something quicker?”

Oh, God, the _tone_ of his _voice_ \- Magnus gulps, but he knows what he wants, exactly what he wants. He pushes up, meeting Taako’s eyes. “You.”

“Not an answer, bubbeleh.”

“First one - but - _my_ mouth - _your_ cock.” It's dirtier than most of the stuff he says, even dares think, but he wants Taako in his mouth, coming and crying out his name.

“Be my guest,” Taako grins, stroking Magnus’s cheek, and pulls back, sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs spread. Magnus moves off the bed and sinks to his knees, closing his eyes for just a second. Then he meets his eyes, sees Taako’s fingers clench at the sheets. He's already wet with precum, and his breath hitches when Magnus runs a finger up his inner thigh. His legs are warm, completely shaved. Covered with miniscule freckles and tiny scars.

It's been a while, Magnus thinks, since he's been _anywhere_ near a dick. Not that it matters. It's easy enough - he drags his tongue across the base, using one hand to press against Taako's thigh. Taako lurches back, letting out a small noise, so Magnus repeats. Then swirls his tongue around the tip, completely takes him into his mouth, moves his hand to grasp the rest of his dick. It's barely a minute before Taako gasps, hips bucking, muttering incomprehensibly.

Magnus’s other hand sinks between his legs, shoved in his underwear, rubbing a circle around his dick. He's slick, sloppily wet, but it's good, the wetness means he can fuck himself easier, his fingers slipping into him.

He keeps at it with his mouth, his knees digging into the wood floor, and Taako jerks, _shouts_ \- “Fuck, _Maggie_ , shit, _yes_ ” - and comes, his head thrown back. Magnus swallows, ignoring the taste of brine, and pulls away, his lips slick and swollen.

Taako collapses, spent, panting, and Magnus hits just the right spot and the plane stops in it's axis, every single plane of existence freezing in motion, shockwaves throughout every one. The room goes completely white, and Magnus feels his body shake, then slow down, and he carefully climbs back onto the bed (it's a little tricky, with his legs still all jittery) and collapses next to Taako. He wipes the tears off his face, stifling a sob.

Taako lazily rolls over, his cheeks reddened. “Mmm,” he mumbles. “Gimme… a minute…”

Magnus’s hand moves to Taako's hair, playing with a few strands while he recovers. His heart's thumping in his chest, enough he can hear the steady beat. Thudding in his stomach. Maybe the aphrodisiac’s wearing off, or maybe it's just the orgasm, but he already feels better.

“Magno… what was it like, growin’ up?”

The question’s completely out of the blue. Magnus frowns, thinks for a moment before responding. “Nice. Normal.”

“Y’said this festival reminds you of home.”

“Why are you asking?”

Taako sighs. His voice is shaky when he finally replies, not bothering to stop Magnus from messing with his hair. Magnus keeps twirling it around his fingers. “Just curious. ‘ve known you for over ten years. But don't know a lot _about_ you. Like, how’re you so tall?” His hand moves closer to Magnus.

“My mom's - she's six foot three, my dad's a few inches taller.” He stops. “Was. _Was_ a few inches taller. Runs in the family. Guess I got lucky.”

Taako smiles, his eyes closing. “We got a problem.”

“With what?”

“No condoms.”

Magnus blushes even harder, instinctively runs a hand over his face so he can't see. “Yeah, that - that would be _bad_.”

“Our bodies reset, but… humans, y’got weird pregnancies. Jesus fuckin’ Christ, it's weird. Off the walls.” Then he goes quiet, closing his eyes. Maybe he’s asleep - Magnus isn’t sure, but he does know elves don’t _need_ to sleep. “Though…”

Then Taako's hovering over him, his eyes narrowed, and he yanks Magnus’s pants down. “This okay?”

“ _Please_ ,” he says, because honestly, yeah, he needs it.

Taako tosses his pants to the ground, pushing Magnus’s legs apart, his lips on his skin. About the same as before, but it's Magnus who feels the shivers pulse through him at the simplest touch. Taako’s head is buried between his legs, his tongue working so slowly that it nearly hurts. His fingers find their way to Taako's hair again, before he falls back on the bed, his head hitting the pillow. He has to bite back a moan. The bed smells like sweat, like sex, but he can't bring himself to care.

His hips shift, trying to get Taako closer to the right spot - he's probably never been with someone without a dick, because he keeps fumbling with his fingers.

“Taako,” he groans, “put them _in_ me, for fuck’s sake -”

Taako laughs and obliges, adding one, then two slender fingers, pushing them inside of him. His other hand bites into Magnus’s hip, nails digging in deep enough to draw blood. It's _almost_ enough to send him overboard, but not quite. Magnus feels _something_ building with each lap of Taako's tongue and pump of his fingers. His nails dig into the sheets, and he's cussing, legs quivering, when finally - the pressure hits, and releases, leaving him in a shaking, stuttery mess.

Taako pulls back and lands next to him, wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand. “That was different. Are - are you crying?”

He is, which doesn't surprise him. He's always been a crier when it comes to sex. “Sorry.”

“Did I - was it bad? Are you okay?” Taako actually sounds a bit concerned.

“Taako,” he says, looking past him and towards the window, where darkness clouds everything. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Don't mention it.” Taako licks his lips. “ _Seriously_ , if you mention it to _anyone_ , I will fuck you up. Big time. Blast you into the next cycle.” Then he sorta smiles. “But, _but_ , big guy, t’was nice. Wouldn't mind doin’ that again sometime. When we're _not_ under the ‘fluence. No strings attached.”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and promptly crashes, Taako's hands splayed against his stomach.

 

He looks like a mess. His hair, the dark circles beneath his eyes, the bruises on his hips. He wipes off his face with a towel, but it smells like the rest of the inn. God, he's fucked. Like, seriously, genuinely _fucked_.

Sure yeah he'd wanted Taako to rail him since, oh, day one, but this was different. It feels less like a horny, testosterone-filled urge to fuck, and _way_ more like a growing, flourishing _crush_. Like, he can see himself casually kissing Taako, holding hands, being together. Except that Taako's not at all that kind of person - he knows _that_ , it's plain and simple, just a fact.

He slams his fist against the sink, and it hurts, but he barely feels it. Last time he got like this, developed feelings… she'd rejected him in front of her friends, saying she _wasn't into girls_. It’d stung, especially since he didn't look like a girl at _all_ \- worn a binder, kept his hair short, had the beginnings of facial hair growing above his lip. Hell, the other guys had backed him up, but he'd only been seventeen. Three years (no, thirteen-ish) later, and he was just _now_ getting another crush? On _Taako_?

Fuck, no. No way. They’re buds, that's all. It's just the aphrodisiac. Probably. Hopefully.

“Hey, Mags, you mind letting me in?” Taako's voice rings through the door, and Magnus feels his heart drop.

“One sec, lemme just -” He swears under his breath and finishes finger-combing his hair, not that he looks any better.

The festival’s still going on, or has restarted, he's not sure. He's almost tempted to go buy those earrings for Taako, thinks it might be a nice gift, but they're out the gates before he decides if he wants to or not. 

Taako opens up the ship, dispelling the wards he put around it, and instantly brightens up a bit, climbing the ramp with Magnus right behind him. The ship's just how they left it, in perfect condition - he doubts anyone's seen it, with the invisibility spell cloaking it and the shields stopping anyone from wandering too close.

“Alrighty, _I'm_ gonna go soak with a bath bomb, Maggo.” Taako grabs a bottle of dark red wine from the cupboard and saunters off, hips swinging. “Don't die or anythin’.” Magnus watches him go, his chest heavy, then heads to his room, stripping and changing into something clean.

He tries to settle back into normalcy, or at least what's normal for them, but Taako still climbs in his bed, still lingers on the touches. And it's awkward as fuck, no mentions of what's happened, nothing anything like that. Magnus watches him cook, helps him around the ship, and still sends out calls on his Stone to see if the others will pick up. But they don't.

He's not sure what's worse, that they could be alive and lost, or dead. Probably the former.

Taako's humming something while he cooks some fish. It's pink like salmon but - “Tastes like tilapia,” Taako says, swinging his hips as he pours buttery oil into the pan. “It's gonna go _great_ with this Moscato. ‘ve been waiting for a good time to break this out, seems good as any.”

Magnus looks up from the wooden cube he's fidgeting with. “Yeah?”

“Mmmmmhmm.” Taako looks over at him, and winks, one hand on his hip. “Remember the other day?”

“...which one?” (He knows which one.)

“Y’know, at the, the festival. We -” And Taako makes a pretty obscene gesture with his fingers. “- _you know_.”

Magnus chokes on his own spit. “I, well - yeah - guess I remember it… why?”

“There's no G-rated way to say this, but - that? The sex? That was nice, n’I, uh, putting it _lightly_ think maaaybe we should do it again. If it's cool with you n’all that jazz. I know you're all horny and shit, and… so’m I, T-B-H.” He waves his wooden spoon as if emphasizing the statement. “S’cool if you don't, no biggie -”

Magnus, as usual, speaks without thinking. “Yeah. Okay, yeah.”

Taako grins. “Groovy. Kinda why I broke out the wine, my dude - Lup wouldn't want it to go to waste. Figured I'd save it for when she _finally_ bangs the brains outta Barry -”

“Can we _not_ do that conversation?”

“You're boring, Maggie. Real boring. Just cheerin’ on my baby sis.”

“She's younger than you? I always -”

“Depends on how y’view it. We're _identical_ , she could be the oldest, we don't actually know. But she's the impulsive one, _someone_ had t’save her skin.”

Taako, the responsible one? Sounds fake.

He finishes cooking the fish and slides two pieces onto plates, tossing some steamed broccoli next to them, and pours them each a pretty big glass of wine. It's good, a bit bitter. Magnus hasn't ever really liked wine, cider’s better, but he's not saying no to free booze.

“Hmm, coulda steamed the broccoli longer,” Taako muses, tapping his lips with his fork. “Lup woulda got ‘em right.”

“It doesn't bother me,” Magnus replies, taking another forkful for good measure. “It tastes great, man, really.”

“‘course it does, but it's not perfect.”

“Screw perfect, least you can eat it!”

Taako snickers. “Yeah, you're terrible at cooking. Can't even grill a cheese right.”

“My mom never taught me.”

“No excuse,” he says, voice still bubbling with laughter.

“You have a nice laugh,” Magnus says, probably from the wine.

He instantly regrets it, but Taako just laughs harder, his eyes closed and his head tilted back. “Wine makes you _soppy_ , m’dude. But, uh - _you_ \- you do, too. Nice laugh, I mean. S’nice to know _someone_ on this crew’s happy enough to laugh ‘bout this BS.”

Magnus takes a drink from his glass, then digs back into the fish. He's _trying_ to come up with a response. Can't, or maybe just doesn't - either way, he's starting to worry he's in deeper than he thought. He gets to his feet and gathers the plates and pans, starts washing them off - ‘least he can do that.

Then Taako's right behind him, his chest pressing into Magnus’s back. “Y’know, you're _ridiculously_ buff.”

“I work out a lot?”

“Mmhmm. Mind if I -”

Magnus swallows and manages to turn around, his back pressed to the sink. Taako's lips are so glossy and red and lush - he wants that lipstick all over him. His thighs, chest, waist… “You're beautiful.”

“If you're sayin’ that to get in my pants…” Taako stands up on his toes and kisses Magnus’s cheek, those bright red lips drifting to his. “...it’s _definitely_ working, amigo. Keep talking.”

“Your eyes - they're nice.”

“Mmmhmm?” Taako kisses him, and kisses him rough and hard and sloppy, the lipstick staining Magnus’s lips and cheeks. “Go on.”

“And - your voice is - very nice,” he mumbles, half high on Taako’s kiss alone. Yeah, he's in pretty fucking deep. “Really stands out.”

“Mmmm. M’liking where this is goin’,” Taako spreads his hands across Magnus’s chest, scrunching his tank top up in his fists, uses the leverage to pull Magnus closer. “You're not bad yourself, Burnsides.”

Well, _shit_. Magnus hoists Taako up, and the elf’s legs wrap around his waist, his lips slamming against Taako's. It's bad enough he's probably gonna hate himself in the morning, for agreeing to this arrangement, but fuck is he bored and incredibly aroused. He can feel it in his belly, a tingling fluttering sensation, and Magnus can't just ignore it.

They fuck in the kitchen, Taako pressed up against the fridge. They fuck on the couch, Taako on top of him, coming across Magnus’s chest. They fuck in the shower, water spraying his face while Taako’s got his head buried between Magnus’s legs. 

They've got the entire ship to themselves, and after a while, it feels like there's no end in sight to this single cycle.

 

Taako’s spooning him, they're splayed across Magnus’s bed. It's nice. Feels almost domestic. Magnus just keeps his eyes closed, breathing light, pretends he's sleeping. With their legs entwined, Taako's arm draped over his chest, there's no end or beginning to the two of them. One movement and Taako’ll wake up.

So he doesn't move.

Magnus feels the steady rise and fall of Taako's chest pressed against his bare skin. Taako’s only wearing a pair of Magnus’s boxers, the fabric stiff against Magnus’s legs, but he doesn't mind. It's better than just nice, it's perfect. He's got exactly what he wants, frozen in time.

(If only they had more time alone.)

Roughly two weeks and then comes the Hunger, and the reset, and then they'll end up going on like nothing happened. And maybe nothing _has_ happened, maybe this is just a normal friends fucking scenario.

And _honestly_ , he knows what it is - he's caught up in how this feels, how having a crush gets his blood pumping and his heart spinning. It's not _love_ or anything. That's all it is, really. Once the team’s back, they'll be back to normal. It'll be one hundred percent a-okay, no complications. Magnus can deal with that.

(Maybe he's in denial.)

Magnus feels Taako stir behind him, yawning. “Mags, you up?”

“Mmm, kinda.”

Taako’s hips roll against his ass, and Magnus feels that familiar electricity spike through him. “Dreamt ‘bout you.”

Magnus turns in his grasp, so he's facing him. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. We were n’this big forest, and _you_ fucked me so hard I passed out n’woke up.”

Magnus chokes back a laugh. “I'm sorry?”

“Yeah. There _was_ some choking involved, not gonna lie.” He grinds his hips against Magnus’s, voice strained when he adds, “Could use some help w’this. Woke up before I got to the good stuff.”

Magnus instinctively moves his hips in unison. “One condition,” he says, before he can stop himself.

“Shoot.”

“This’s - bare with me, might sound weird, but… you stole my jacket.”

“Oh, _that_ old thing? You want it back? Dude, it resets when you do.”

“No,” he says, then swallows. “Wanna fuck you while you're wearing it. _Just_ that.”

“All Fantasy Titanic style, huh? Okay,” he whispers, voice higher pitched. “Gimme five minutes, okie dokie?”

(For _this_ , Magnus could wait fifteen.)

When Taako returns, wearing that over-sized red jacket with the IPRE label emblazoned over one pocket… and _just_ the jacket, no fancy lacy underwear or pants or anything. No jewelry, either. The light’s down low, but Taako brightens up the whole room with just a single hip tilt, his hand resting against his waist.

“Well?”

Jesus Christ, you're the most beautiful thing in existence, he thinks. Doesn't dare say it aloud.

“You -” His mouth’s gone paper dry. “Wow.”

“Got a condom, d’worry,” Taako adds, and then steps closer, pushing Magnus onto his back. He hits the bed with a thud, and Taako's on top of him, his hands going straight to Magnus’s wrists, pinning them to the bed. “ _Damn_ , Maggie, you look _great_ like this, all ready to be fucked. Y’want me to go easy on you?”

Lazy, five AM sex actually sounds pretty good, but Taako mercilessly fucking his brain out? Just as good. “Save that for later,” he says, not bothering to struggle against Taako's grasp. He doesn't mind, anyways.

Taako’s grip tightens, then he pulls away for a second, raising a hand, purple-blue energy encircling it. “This okay?”

Magnus just nods, and Taako draws something similar to ropes around Magnus’s wrists, the magic burning for a second and then cooling down, cold as ice against his skin. It's a nice contrast with Taako's body heat radiating across his stomach and chest. “You _can_ get rid of those, right?”

“‘course I can, I'm a fuckin’ _wizard_ , Magbird.” Taako smirks, then moves lower. “I'll dispel ‘em. Don't worry.”

“I'm not, just -”

“Shhh. M’gonna fuck you now.”

Taako pulls on the condom, then just barely touches Magnus’s legs. But the touch’s still tantalizing, sending shivers down his spine. He parts his legs, knees too close to buckling - but Taako doesn't do anything about that, just pulls off Magnus’s underwear, fingers brushing skin.

Then Taako's inside him, and he’s shaking slightly as he thrusts into him, every minor movement sending Magnus spinning. His hands try to dig into something, anything, to keep him steady; he doesn't find relief there. Taako's panting, his hands on either side of Magnus’s legs, and the open mouth, closed eyes look is _perfect_ on him. Just the _sight_ of him in that jacket, sweat-slick skin, messed up hair...

It's like sending shockwaves through his skin, everything about Taako - it's confusing and painful and wonderful and Magnus isn't sure he wants this to ever end.

It's over quickly, Magnus left a panting mess on the bed, and Taako snaps his fingers, the magic ropes disintegrating. His legs are sticky with sweat and cum, his knees shaking. Taako collapses, spent, and says, “M’not moving.” His hand drifts down to between Magnus’s legs, making circling motions around his dick.

“Then don't,” Magnus sputters out, his hips twitching in response. “ _Fuck_.”

Taako kisses him then, softer than usual, his fingers pressing inside Magnus. “You're so - so damn _hot_ , Maggie,” he mumbles against Magnus’s lips. “M’surprised nobody here's fucked you before.”

“Uh, ‘bout that -”

Taako stops. “What?”

“Well, y’know, before we left,” Magnus says, swallowing. “I kinda, maybe, sleptwithLup.”

“You… really?” Taako starts laughing at that, crooking his fingers. “I _better_ be the better fuck, or m’not doing this right.”

“Oh,” he says, breathlessly, as Taako’s fingers crook just right, “ _definitely_.”

 

Ten months is a long time to spend alone with someone. You learn things about that person, things you can't just displace from your head. For example, Taako takes his tea with just cream. He prefers mixed drinks (“More alcohol in ‘em,” he says.) He borrows clothes from Lup, including a red crop top with her name written on it in glittery letters, a pair of tiny shorts, and star-shaped sunglasses. He cooks when stressed, when bored, when tired. And he only really admits things when he's got alcohol in him.

“My parents were the fuckin’ worst,” he says, filing his nails and sitting on the edge of Magnus’s bed. He's on his second, maybe third drink - orange juice and coconut rum. “Didn't like that Lup’s trans, didn't want anyone to know our dad hit us, ‘n my mom liked to use us as emotional punching bags. If they were even _bothered_ t’check on us.”

“I didn't know,” Magnus says, ignoring the book in his lap (he's not _actually_ reading it, can't sit still long enough to.) “I'm sorry.”

“Pssh. No point, my dude. No point at all. Our aunt, she’s the only one who gave a shit bout us. Cared enough to take us in. Then she died, soooo we ran off. Traveled with caravans and shit. Joined a circus for a few years.”

Magnus frowns. “Still, man, that's rough. If - if you want to talk about it…”

“Isn't that what I'm doin’, mi amigo?” Taako slams the rest of the drink, lets out a sigh. “Couple more days.”

Alcohol really is liquid courage, he thinks, because he's able to look over at Taako and ask the one thing that's been bothering him. “What happens when we reset?”

“Uh, we get to a new cycle?”

“I mean, with -” He gestures between them. “This.”

“S’just sex, no biggie. We can keep doin’ it if you wanna, ‘less you're not cool with that.” Taako waves a hand to refill his drink. “Not like it matters, right?”

“Yeah,” he says.

And that's exactly when it comes - there's a low rumble outside, and Taako glances up, startled. “Thunder?”

“Maybe?”

“Let's, y’know, go check.”

And they're on their feet, the drink left abandoned on Magnus’s nightstand. Magnus grabs his shield and sword just in case, and they rush up to the deck. Surely enough, it's dark, a storm in the air… except it's far as he can see, and steadily increasing. There's a hush in the air, and then - _boom_! Something black and tendril-like crashes into a nearby tree, shattering the wood. “It's time,” he says quickly, his knees close to buckling.

“Shit,” says Taako, pointing into the distance.

There's something moving, something humanoid and huge, coming closer with each thunderous step. Magnus grits his teeth and turns towards the console, biting down on his lip. “Okay. We can do this.”

“It's gettin’ closer!”

“Can - can you handle that?” he asks, mouth dry, his hands hovering over the buttons. He's done this before, it's no big deal - except, if he fucks up, then they're screwed big time. Like, no next cycle big time. Like, actual death big time.

“Mhm.” Taako pulls out his wand, moving to Magnus’s side. “Take us away, big guy.”

Magnus nods, and hits the ignition.

The Starblaster _slowly_ raises into the air, narrowly avoiding another tendril - Magnus jerks the wheel to one side, and it almost hits the side of the ship. Fuck, he thinks, tightening his grip on the wheel. Okay, he can do this, not a problem. Can't be too hard. He steadies himself, concentrating on the ship. It's just an extension of himself. He's got vehicle proficiency.

Faster now, he pulls the ship into the sky, missing a dark tendril here and there - the Hunger’s looking for the Light, he can see the tendrils searching. The darkness clouds _everything_ , shaking, thundering, but Taako’s right next to him.

Magnus can definitely do this. For sure.

Taako holds out his wand, the tip sparking green, a small green shield appearing like a roof over the ship. “Mags, you better go faster!”

“I'm trying -”

“Try harder!”

Magnus digs his feet into the ground, and yanks the ship into the atmosphere - it feels easier than usual, getting away this time. Usually there's more resistance. More fighting. Usually they gotta make a break for it. He tosses his shield and sword to the ground so they don't disappear when he regenerates.

In the last few seconds, as time slows and quivers, Magnus grabs Taako's hand.

And then the universe stitches them back together, and he's standing by the edge of the ship, gripping the edge. And there's their team, their family, back together again. And Lup, her hand on Taako's shoulder, and he's laughing and crying and he throws his arms around his sister.

“You _died_!”

“Sorry, Koko. Didn't mean to.”

Magnus watches them hug, and turns away as Davenport navigates them into the next cycle.


End file.
